Kindness and Truth
Abbe’s Ruminations May 2026
I struggle with the concept of the white lie, when my answer is said to spare someone’s feeling. Usually it’s about something simple, say at a fancy restaurant, when everyone is oohing and aahing about a dish and I couldn’t stand it.
But sometimes issues are more profound. I’ve found myself waffling, trying to be diplomatic about an important question. Someone’s health, a decision to buy a house, or a car. When I really disagree, I worry and look inside myself. What stops me from telling the truth? The simplest answer is a fear of losing one’s friendship or love. The cost of being kind often means rejection.
When in fact, the truth sets everyone free. I remember a friend looking to buy a house. All the homes were beautiful, and I wished I could say, wow, get this one. I knew that my friend couldn’t afford the house and refused to deal with money issues. Her decision would affect me eventually and her family. We’d need to bail her out. I finally told her that I didn’t think this was the time to buy a home, based on the economy in general and hers specifically. She eventually thanked me years later, but for years we maintained a more distant friendship.
In love, we make sacrifices. Tell our partner partial truths. But as we age and life rests on a tittering balance, I first look for my own truth, and then I look for kindness. Both work hand-in-hand. Without truth, we’ve lied to ourselves and those we love.
This topic is ripe with meaning. I’ve only skimmed the surface. Love is infinite and comes with kindness. I’d love to hear your views. Find me at http://www.abberolnick.com
